I’ve been learning how to swear in French and I just can’t get enough!

Netflix Canada recently made an announcement that it is going to raise the prices to $16.99 a month next year and this Canadian girl is NOT having it. Although I can’t even be that mad because I am one of those Netflix people that use someone else’s account (shout out to Rachel), so this most likely means I’ll have to get my own account.

You see Melissa and I have been telling y’all adulting is a trap, stay away from it!

This news came just in time as I am obsessing over three new international Netflix shows. The past couple of weeks I found myself glued to these new shows as if I don’t have two jobs and an in-the-works freelance career to pursue. I’ve been tuning into the Spanish-way better than Gossip Girl- drama Elite, the Italian-similar to Gossip, Girl, too- drama Baby and the current bain of my television show existence French dramedy The Hook Up Plan.

The amazing part is since these shows aren’t originally in English, I watch them all in French. It’s honestly just so much better for this bilingual babe. European humour is so interesting. I’d like to give you my spoiler-free review of these shows, why you should watch them and get used to reading subtitles– because tbh the English voices are kind of trash.

Elite

This honestly took the Twitter world by storm when it came out because it’s ACTUALLY amazing! As an active member of the Twitter World, I obviously had to join in all the action that is Elite.

Elite is a teen drama, set in Spain, about three students who get a scholarship to an elite private school. The main issue is they are not wanted by the stuck-up private school students. The true tea is in the first episode. One of their classmates is murdered and the police are investigating who did it. Then the whole season is pretty much Thirteen Reasons Why type flashbacks of what happens leading up to the murder.

The in-between is where it’s really at though! These kids are basically 16 going on 27. They are having sex, Power on Starz style, like you see booty! And it’s all types of sex, yes threesomes included! At 16 mind you! They are doing drugs, selling drugs, buying drugs, basically everything drug related is covered. There’s even extortion. Extortion with 16-year-olds, like wow. There’s theft, jail time, this show covers everything! If this is anyone’s actually 16-year-old experience I truly think CPS should be called.

With that being said the actors do an amazing job, they carry out the storylines really well and keep me on toes and I wear heels so that’s hard to do! I like how there is at least one character you can relate to. They checked almost every box. You have a Muslim girl and they very well factor in her religion into the storyline! Like when you hear what they do to do her, your mouth will drop. You have a same-sex relationship and tbh they are really freaking cute but oh the drama between them! And then you have your typical love triangle. Stephen and Damon Salvatore type, if you don’t understand that reference I doubt you were alive in 2010.

It’s crazy because these kids are going through real life things and they are just 16. But this is a must watch and season two, where you at?

Baby

Listen. Baby is just a mess. A beautifully-messed up mess. The show, which is apparently based on true events, is set in Rome and about the secret lives of rich teenagers. I clearly have a thing for rich teens who are messed up. It follows two young girls, 16-year-olds, who end up leading a life of prostitution.

I zoomed through this show because it was quite addictive. Unlike Elite, the sex was more toned down but it was very prevalent, naturally. I’m not sure what it is with these rich private school 16-year-olds but they are all messed up and very sex, drugs and liquor obsessed. I mean I was on student council worrying about if I would get cold if I wore my kilt because of the demonic Toronto weather.

I related to this show because of the bond between the two main girls. Their friendship is toxic yet needed. I know very oxymoronic but that’s life. They definitely make highly questionable choices but there’s something interesting about the rich privileged child narrative. This show lacks diversity though, it definitely has a good storyline because you have to know what happens. If they added a more diverse narrative, I’m talking a person of colour, the show would be just as good or maybe even better than Elite. Wait, there’s a guy that’s Arab but they lightly touch on that. I need a hard press.

Overall it’s definitely the perfect show to get ready to when you’re not in a rush because you have to pay attention but it’s worthy enough to be background noise of your everyday life.

The Hook Up Plan

If you’re reading this and you are a close friend please do not do what Elsa’s friends did to her, to me because you will no longer be my close friend.

The Hook Up Plan, based in Paris, is about soon to be 30-year-old Elsa who is still getting over a breakup. I believe it’s almost two years after. I know it’s messed. Elsa is what my East Africans/Arabs would call miskeen. To completely get over the guy and herself, Elsa’s friend Charlotte decides to hire a male escort to essentially f**k the depression out of her. Unfourtunately, or fourtunately the plan works and the escort and Elsa don’t just end up being a one night stand.

This show is HILARIOUS. I’m literally howling at 2 a.m. just watching it. The humour and script are just phenomenal!  I just finished it and find myself rewatching a few episodes because that’s how good it is. These characters are so intriguing and interesting. Let me quickly break it down.

There’s Charlotte, aka Chacha, Elsa’s wild best friend with crazy ideas. She’s the one who hired the escort. She’s spontaneous and always up to something.

Emilie, aka Milou, Elsa’s pregnant best friend, who just wants the best for everyone. She gets shit done and probably one of the only characters with sense…well when it comes to other people’s problems and not her own.

Jules, the escort. This man is so fine. He’s definitely on my pretty white boy list. You honestly just fall in love with him. What he’s doing to Elsa is wrong but honestly, he’s just so charismatic and alluring that you just HAVE to love him.

I could go on about the rest of the cast but even I’m not trying to read that long of a post.

Overall this show has an amazing plot, script and a good group of actors! Also, it’s somewhat diverse! Chantal, Elsa’s coworker, is gay and probably the most underrated character! Elsa is half black! And we love a black woman of colour as the center of attention. I mean look at how smitten the world is with my play cousin Meghan Markle.