In our society, being a bitch comes to mind as a couple different things. It usually depends on who uses the word and how it’s used. Over time the b-word has developed into this new empowering phenomenon for women; however, it does come with a couple contradictions. The word itself is very inquiring to the mind because it raises issues as to where we are going, as a generation, with the word.

I did a couple interviews with some people who I think are pretty familiar with the word. I wanted to know the ultimate question “How does one be a bitch and how do you do it right?”. Hence the title of this post. After getting all of my funny, insightful, and a little shocking information, I drew up some conclusions.

Know the Definition

“Everyone has their own definitions of bitch,” said Afua O. (@afuatipharris)

Bitch. At this point, what does that word even mean? The word bitch has evolved to so many definitions that sometimes I can’t even keep up. I checked out dictionary.com and the definition it gave of the word was “female dog”, which is where the word  originated.

According to MIT student Claire Bayley’s essay, the serious usage of the word started in the 1920s when veterinarians would make journals about dogs. In her essay she goes on to explain that word began to have a more positive spin because of the rise of feminism in the 1960’s. And between the ’20s and the ’60s people just used bitch as an insult. Well the majority.

Growing up, I always thought the word was an insult to women and men. I remember the first time I heard the world, not as an insult, was in a Harry Potter movie. It was the scene when one woman referred to the dog as a bitch. I was so shocked and confused that they wouldn’t censor that word in a children’s movie, but my teacher quickly explained that the word has more than one meaning. After that I constantly heard the word as insult and in most rap artist’s music, which is how they referred to women. Yuck. The word was just a negative word to me until in my teen years. I started hearing women referring to themselves as bitches, more like boss asss bitches. What this means is that they’re praising themselves for being independent women with minds. Then I thought ‘hmm, this is interesting.’ I realized that the word has a couple different meanings and it’s up to you to know YOUR definition, or you’ll just get lost in it all.

There Are Different types of Bitches

“The type of bitch you want to be is headstrong, witty, smart, sarcastic and independent,” said Melissa E. (@melissaedre)

Since the word has so many definitions it has to be broken down into types. I’ve observed that every bitch shares a similar quality. A mean-streak. They can be cruel or give you tough love. It’s all about the fact that they are assertive.

“A bitch knows what to tolerate and what not to tolerate,” said Afua O.

This assertiveness is a form of confidence to them, it’s what chases the term insecurity out and makes them stand strong. After being on this earth for a while I’ve concluded what types of bitches there are out there.

A hatin’ bitch. That one person that just hates on everything and anything. They are super toxic people who have been hurt in the past and the only way for them to mend their sorrow is to hate. Please don’t be this type.

A scared bitch. This usually refers to men acting in a feminine way but it can also be generalized to a person who holds non masculine qualities. For example, you’re getting your ears pierced and you start crying before the needle comes. Friends may refer to you as a scared bitch because you’re not “manning up” to take the piercing like a champ. Nobody wants to be scared bitch because no one wants to admit they’re scared. And you shouldn’t be scared, try to stay fearless and stay away from this type of bitch.

The boss bitch. As I have referred to this bitch type previously, it’s the bitch the 1960s feminists were trying to portray. This type is the one that everyone either is or wishes they were. This type of bitch says everything you want to say but better.

“I know the way I act, but it’s all because I say things that people are thinking in their heads out loud,” said Melissa E.

This is the Oprah, the Hilary Clinton, and the Michelle Obama most women try to be. A woman who has her stuff together and can’t nobody tell her different but her. You don’t want to mess with this kind, because if you do, you’ll regret it. A lot.

” I can be a bitch, don’t push me though,” said Pollyanna R. (@6ixqueen)

All in all, the way to aline yourself with the type of bitch you are comes from where you’ve been and what you’ve experienced. The type of bitch you are form from your experiences but you just have to make sure you’re a least a tolerable one.

“Certain exposure and circumstances will lead you to the type of bitch you are today,” said Melissa E.

There Are Perks

Just like there is perks to being a wallflower, there’s perks to being a bitch. The many perks consist of control and authority. As soon as you’re identified as a bitch, people will know you are not the one to be played with, boo boo. Sorry, I had to add that extra sass there. When you walk into a room, everyone already knows you and when people speak to you, they chose their words carefully because you can verbally bring them into cardiac arrest if the wrong thing is uttered. A lot of people respect you, simply because you can do anything and get through anything that comes at you.

“Bitches have an amour built strong enough to endure the greatest of disasters,” said Melissa E.

I used to have this one elementary teacher who I always thought was bitch because she would make you feel dumb if you stepped to her. Thinking back now, she had it going on. She was highly educated, smart, dressed with style and grace, had a beautiful car and a good hot-damn kind of man. If this is all what being a bitch offers, then count me in! But on a serious note, having total control of yourself and your life is the true perk of being a bitch.

Not Everyone can be a Bitch

“The sophistication to being a bitch… It’s true art form in its own right. It cannot be replicated by those who lack the craft,” said Abeer A. (@publicserviceno4)

Not everyone can sing and it goes the same way with being a bitch.

Being a bitch actually takes a certain skill that not most can’t possess. Do you ever have those friends that you will never be able to take seriously in this life time? Well its that same concept. Some people can’t make everyone think they are bitch because it takes a certain kind of person.

“In order to be bitch, you need to know you’re a bitch first,” said Melissa E.

Usually knowing you’re a bitch helps with being one, but if you think you’re a bitch that’s something different. You can’t just think you’re a bitch you have to know it, own it and be it. It’s basically an art form. 

“Like couture, bitchiness is only appropriate and accurate for certain individuals” said Abeer A. 

Don’t Let Men Call You One

“If a guy were to say you’re a bitch that’s disrespectful,” said Afua O.

Imagine a guy calling you a bitch. Did you just feel a sense of rage? Yeah I did too. When guys call girls bitches it will always come off as rude. I was recently watching an episode of Girl Code, by the way which is one of the best shows of this generation, and the cast members were all empowering the word, but as soon as the mention of  man saying it came along, the word was evaporated from their vocabulary. Well the male vocabulary. The reason why men have been exed out of the right to use the word is because it was a word men usually used to degrade a woman. But when the feminist took the word and made it their own ( or made it their bitch lol) it became an empowering word for women to say. So a man saying the word just brings back the insult. If you’re a guy and reading this, just say it in your head, it’s safer that way. And yes, safer for you.

Be the Bitch YOU Want to Be

“You also need to realize that beyond your conceited bitch self, you’re a human and so are the people around you; you all get hurt the same way, “said Melissa E.

Lastly, being a bitch is someone you think is okay. It’s all about the perception you have of yourself and how that reflects on others. The ultimate question now that you may still being wondering is “How do you be a bitch and do it right?” After research and interviews I’ve concluded, don’t be a bitch. Just be you. Just be every quality that the boss type bitch in our generation acquires. Be smart, be educated, be confident, be stylish, don’t take crap from anyone and have your stuff together.

“Why can’t you just have your stuff together and not say bitch?” said Eavone B. (@s3cure)

When you have that mindset, it will all fall into place. People will still call you a bitch, no matter what. That’s just life. But you have to be able to look at yourself in the mirror and say, “Yeah I’m a bitch and I’m okay with that.” Because if being a bitch is becoming the CEO of your own company, being a high class politician,  having degrees on degrees, owning your own business, having multiple children and a full time job or having a smart mouth that will blow the world away. You want to be that bitch.

 

For Clair Bayley’s full essay.